Use Your Ears | toolkit
- Feb 20
- 3 min read
Making a change in the epidemic of violence against women can feel like an impossible and daunting task if you think about it for too long. Where do we start? And how do we make a change in something that is a product of a greater system of being. This toolkit is a means to not just understanding why gender-based violence exists, but also offering small, physical things you can do on the daily in a move towards a world with less of it existing.
Although this toolkit is about moving past the point of awareness, it is still where we need to start each step. In order to transform attitudes and norms, we need to be aware of what already exists and what space we occupy in these preexisting norms. We need to understand how we move through a gender based violence-filled world in order to make a change. Said another way, you cannot fix something if you don’t yet know why or how it is broken.
The following is a list...
Listen
Awareness
Many women spend a significant part of their lives managing risk: changing routes home, sharing their location with friends, curating/censoring what they wear, holding keys between their fingers, avoiding certain places or people. Because these behaviours are so normalised, they often go unnoticed.
Action
The next time a woman shares an experience of discomfort, harassment, or fear:
don't interrupt.
don't minimise.
don't immediately offer solutions.
Try saying:
"I believe you."
"That sounds difficult."
"Tell me more."
Reflection
When was the last time a woman told you something that you explained away instead of listening to?
Notice
Awareness
Most sexism doesn't look like violence. It looks like jokes, assumptions, interruptions, dismissals, and moments that seem too small to matter. Yet these moments help create the culture that violence grows from.
Action
don't laugh at or ignore sexist jokes
question comments made that make women seem lesser
pay attention to who feels comfortable and who doesn't
Small interruptions can change what a group considers normal.
Reflection
What behaviours do you tolerate simply because everyone else does?
Take Responsibility
Awareness
Most people have, at some point, said or done something that made another person uncomfortable. The goal is not perfection. The goal is recognising our impact and being willing to learn from it.
Action
Ask yourself:
when have I made assumptions based on gender?
when have I dismissed someone's experience?
when have I prioritised my intentions over someone else's impact?
If someone tells you you've hurt them, try really listening before defending yourself.
Reflection
What is one behaviour you've changed because someone helped you see it differently?
Interrupt
Awareness
Most people who witness problematic behaviour do nothing, not because they agree with it, but because speaking up feels uncomfortable. Silence, however, can be mistaken for approval.
Action
change the subject when a conversation turns sexist
lightly disrupt this behaviour by asking, "what do you mean by that?"
say, "that's not funny"
check in privately with someone who seemed uncomfortable
You don't have to be confrontational to interrupt a harmful moment.
Reflection
When was the last time you stayed silent even though something felt off?
Practice Equality Daily
Awareness
Gender inequality is not only visible in moments of violence. It also appears in everyday habits: who cleans, who plans, who remembers birthdays, who provides emotional support, and whose time is treated as valuable.
Action
share domestic labour without being asked
take responsibility for planning and organising
don't assume women will carry emotional labour
make space for other voices in conversations
Small habits shape larger cultures.
Reflection
Where in your daily life do you benefit from someone else's invisible work?
Join the Conversation
Awareness
Ending gender-based violence is not the responsibility of women alone. Change happens when more people are willing to talk about it, question it, and take responsibility for improving the culture around them.
Action
talk to friends about what you're learning
share useful resources
ask questions instead of assuming you know the answers
stay curious and open to being challenged
You don't need to be an expert to be part of the conversation.
Reflection
What is one conversation you've been avoiding because it feels uncomfortable?
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